tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48295755518523802612024-02-19T07:56:22.265-08:00Henry's Mum's MusingsI am Doris in N CA. Over time, this has become the "serious" blog.
Since the suicide of my son, I have become involved in suicide awareness and, yes, that creeps into the blog on a fairly regular basis.Henry's Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04510244795419244276noreply@blogger.comBlogger344125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-15689616603792201052014-06-30T08:51:00.003-07:002014-06-30T08:51:43.739-07:00My letter to the editorFriday afternoon I sat down and wrote emails and letters, including one to the editor. It didn't make it into Saturday's paper or Sunday's paper, but it's in today's:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://napavalleyregister.com/news/opinion/mailbag/important-day-for-suicide-prevention/article_210ee344-75c8-5ba4-9c4f-31b027636294.html">Important Day for Suicide Prevention</a><br />
<br />
I didn't choose the title, the newspaper always does.<br />
<br />
There are already negative comments, 2 so far, but there are also 3 supportive ones.<br />
<br />
Friday was such a big day, so emotional, and I don't think I have completely gotten back to "normal" just yet. Days like that always bring up issues connected to our loss and this day was no different.<br />
<br />
My friend Marilee would be commenting on this, she took me under her wing after Henry died and was pretty much my only commenter for years. Unfortunately, she passed away a couple of years ago. And, yes, I still miss her and her kindness.<br />
And, of course, I miss Henry. I wouldn't be doing any of this if it wasn't for him.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-86869720626421430292014-06-27T14:29:00.003-07:002014-06-27T14:29:57.020-07:00A bittersweet day for many of us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eFOkUHGLi1IBzxNurhQRwZFZF7rhe0ZS7H4O1eevudQQ9WcLT7QyWgvx-lye2yEy9IYaZzhXvCmXbB44XfuvbqnCVG-50gQPpLUYjpxpIZKDfGPSXQzn98lQpL9b2RAcy8muYMVOIRvM/s1600/bridge1_copy%5B2%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eFOkUHGLi1IBzxNurhQRwZFZF7rhe0ZS7H4O1eevudQQ9WcLT7QyWgvx-lye2yEy9IYaZzhXvCmXbB44XfuvbqnCVG-50gQPpLUYjpxpIZKDfGPSXQzn98lQpL9b2RAcy8muYMVOIRvM/s1600/bridge1_copy%5B2%5D.jpg" height="136" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
My husband and I just came back home from attending a meeting of the Board of Directors of the Golden Gate Bridge Authority. Today was all about approving a funding plan for the suicide barrier.<br />
It's been over 6 years of being involved in all this for us, 6 years of talking, writing, signing petitions, visiting politicians' offices, arguing with opponents (more L than I, I don't have a thick enough skin for that), pestering friends and family for help with petitions. <br />
The barrier, a marine grade steel net under the bridge, was approved in September of 2008, but there was no way to fund it. That's been an ongoing struggle.<br />
Today's meeting was very emotional. There was a wonderful speech by California Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, who has been in favor of a barrier for a long time, there were emotional speeches by people who have lost loved ones to bridge suicides and speeches by at least two directors. All urging to board to vote in favor of the funding plan.<br />
The vote was a unanimous "yes."<br />
It will be at least 3-4 years before the net is in place. Bids will have to be submitted, the work will have to be done - safely - and, hopefully, then there will not be any more suicides from this bridge.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-74745636756071048612014-06-20T16:39:00.003-07:002014-06-20T16:40:08.519-07:00New suicide dataThe American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has released new facts and figures about suicide:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures">Facts and Figures</a><br />
<br />
The site also has links to plenty of other suicide related subjects, including warning signs, risk factors, suicide prevention and ways to get involved.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-65149331730550292092014-05-05T10:05:00.000-07:002014-05-05T10:05:45.527-07:00Not looking forward to this week<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week isn't one I'm looking forward to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only do I have to fly solo again when handing out
scholarships on Tuesday, but Thursday is the anniversary of Henry's death. And,
yes, more scholarships that night. I can do it and I can do it alone, but, even
after all these years, I still get nervous about getting up on stage and behind a microphone for my little speech. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mostly, though, it's yet again not knowing how to deal with
the anniversary. In previous years, we've gone to the bridge and tied flowers
to the rail. Just a bit of a statement to bring awareness to what's going on
there. I've even gone all by myself (and I don't drive highways if I can avoid
it) because L was terribly sick with stomach flu one year and, at that time, I
felt I HAD to go. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we didn't go last year, my sister was dying and I couldn't do it. She did, in fact, die
less than a month later. My in-laws went, they have met us there almost every year and
offered to go for us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am also still struggling to find a way to remember him, celebrate his
life and mourn his passing in a way that is right for me. The bridge visits in
previous years were the right thing to do, but now, not so much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have had mass said for him for a few years, but that
doesn't feel right any longer either. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know how other people remember their lost loved ones and,
while I love their ideas, they aren't right for me. So, I am a bit lost. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to realize over the years that a lot people don't
understand and don't want to talk about this, so I've learned to keep all
this to myself - mostly. Many people seem to think one needs to move on and put
this behind oneself. Easier said than done. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Henry is still a part of my life, maybe not daily,
but thoughts of him come to me often. Not so much of the end of his life, just random
thoughts. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It just doesn't feel right to me not to do something, I just don't know what that something is. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, it'll probably be me with my thoughts this week, not so happy with myself for still not knowing exactly how to balance things. Better
keep busy with some project or other.</div>
Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-67690168793713682962014-03-07T11:41:00.000-08:002014-03-07T12:36:50.510-08:00Why I am in favor of a suicide barrier on the Golden Gate Bridge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCZA1F-dMXXI1ezi7epada2vShJz5Na9IE9tncQr9xGdu5f2o_4Z_9AjCWjfpe4AWKPsBcO1gD_8WlbwulmijhaLoQonzvewIklfdb6AAuOTiDFFrVa5A2VQFt8CKJPOu_CZj2VZ1IU5M/s1600/bridge1_copy%5B2%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCZA1F-dMXXI1ezi7epada2vShJz5Na9IE9tncQr9xGdu5f2o_4Z_9AjCWjfpe4AWKPsBcO1gD_8WlbwulmijhaLoQonzvewIklfdb6AAuOTiDFFrVa5A2VQFt8CKJPOu_CZj2VZ1IU5M/s1600/bridge1_copy%5B2%5D.jpg" height="136" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
This morning, there was an email in my inbox with a comment on a link I had provided on Facebook about the proposed suicide barrier on the Golden Gate Bridge. It was in line with far too many comments I have come across over the years, basically expressing the opinion that if people are prevented from taking their lives here, they would just go somewhere else.<br />
That's an opinion, not a fact. And while we are all entitled to our own opinions, we are not entitled to our own facts.<br />
<br />
So, I will revisit the facts I have learned over the last almost 7 years.<br />
<br />
<b>I will start with the bridge in general: </b><br />
This <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_Bridge">Wikipedia </a>entry has a longish section on suicide.<br />
The original design for the bridge included a suicide barrier, but the chief engineer, Richard Strauss, was short and did not want his view obstructed. Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco at the time, felt the same way: although originally he was completely against a barrier, he later reluctantly changed his mind in favor of the net. The original letter his commission submitted, unfortunately, is no longer available online, but <a href="http://henrysmomsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/09/mayors-position-on-bride-barrier.html">here is a link to what I wrote about it previously.</a> His commission, BTW, did not include a single mental health professional, only architects, engineers and artists. <br />
<br />
I can now also answer the question why people jump facing the city, not the ocean: the western walkway is closed to pedestrians. <br />
The average number of suicides from the bridge these days is 30 - 40 people per year, 46 last year, with over 100 prevented. I cannot find a total count of bridge suicides (last I heard, it was 1,600), but those of us involved in all this know that the official number is always too low. While there are bodies pulled out of the water, there also are people who completely disappear. There may be witness to a jump, a suicide note, a cell phone or a car left behind, if no body is found, this person is not included in the count.<br />
The notion that jumping to one's death from the bridge is romantic is
utter rubbish. It takes 4 terrifying seconds to hit the water. And that
feels like hitting at brick wall with a truck at about 70 mph. Painful
and most often fatal. <br />
<br />
<b>Here are facts why a barrier would work:</b><br />
First, and most importantly, the Richard Seiden study from the 1970's. He and his researchers identified 515 people who had been prevented from jumping and followed their lives. Of those 515, 6% went on to take their lives and only 6 people went back to the bridge. While there are people who think that study is not applicable any longer (thank you, former Facebook friend), that, again, is opinion and not fact.<br />
<a href="http://seattlefriends.org/files/seiden_study.pdf">Here </a>is a link to the Richard Seiden study.<br />
Next the British coal gas study: when Britain switched from coal gas to natural gas to heat homes, suicide rates went down. No more access to easy means = fewer suicides.<br />
And then the Ellington Bridge: Once suicide barriers where erected on this bridge, people did not go to the adjacent Taft Bridge in great numbers.<br />
Links to all of those can be found in <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/magazine/06suicide-t.html?_r=2&ex=1216094400&en=83bf55db43f6ac85&ei=5070&emc=eta1&">this article.</a> It's a bit lengthy, but a worthwhile read.<br />
And then there is <a href="http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/">this link</a> to various Harvard studies that talks about means reduction. Yes, the bridge is considered a means.<br />
Other landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and the Empire State Buildings have suicide barriers now. I do not have any links to studies about those, but I am sure they exist.<br />
So, yes, taking away the easy means will make it harder for people to take their lives. I realize that not every attempter will be dissuaded, but enough will be to make it worthwhile.<br />
Several of the people who have jumped from the bridge and survived
(less than 2% of all jumpers) and have talked about it afterward said that, as soon as their hands left the railing, they realized they did
not want to die. In the 4 seconds it takes from top to bottom,
they either managed to change their body position and thereby not die
instantly or be fatally injured or were incredibly lucky.<br />
One of them is Kevin Hines who has since become a very dedicated suicide awareness and prevention advocate.<br />
Henry
wasn't incredibly lucky. He did survive and was fished out of the water
and taken to San Francisco General where doctors tried to save his life
for several hours. Unlike many jumpers, he only had one broken bone, a
rib, but his lungs were shredded and he essentially drowned in his own
blood. <br />
<br />
<br />
<b>And here is a bit about suicide in general: </b><br />
Suicide is not the same as euthanasia, it's not in informed decision. Suicide is not a fatal disease, neither is mental illness. Suicide more often than not is an impulsive act. The person attempting suicide is hurting, badly, maybe not physically, but definitely mentally. That hurt, also called "psychache" becomes so unbearable that it seems the only way out is to end one's life. While some people look for help, many do not. And one more thing: suicides do not just happen to to other people. I was surprised, when I mentioned that my son had died by suicide, how many people opened up and told me about their losses. <br />
<br />
Our lives changed completely after Henry's death. My way of dealing with this was to
read to try and educate myself not only about suicide in general, but
about the Golden Gate Bridge in particular and to talk about it openly. I have been constantly
amazed by the comments I have encountered all along, all opinions, none
of them facts.<br />
<br />
By now, I have started a new blog, that one more cheerful than this one which is now dedicated mostly to suicide awareness. There are lots more posts about suicide, the bridge barrier, links to articles in national newspapers and links to letters I wrote to my local paper. Not exactly fun reading, but possibly of interest to anybody with an open mind. Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-53831633681449087202014-01-16T12:09:00.001-08:002014-01-16T12:09:21.265-08:00Hey HenryTomorrow would have been Henry's 25th birthday. The age experts say is when the brain is finally fully developed and people can (hopefully) foresee the consequences of their actions.<br />
I wish he could have hung on, toughed it out, seen his way through what he obviously considered insurmountable problems. Looking back - and having spent close to 3 years trying to get answers to "why" - I can see why he felt overwhelmed but I also know that there were ways around it. If he had only talked to somebody, asked for help. And I don't mean his peers, 18 year olds really aren't in a position to help in this kind of situation. <br />
I still don't have all the answers and I doubt they'll find me. I got close over a year ago when one of the people Henry spent time with contacted me, but he pulled back - several times - and so, no go. I'm okay with it. I don't even know whether I still want to talk about it in depth.<br />
I have my memories, I have a good idea what happened and why. What I don't have is my son.<br />
And I miss him, lots.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-23818679607538758532013-10-24T09:37:00.001-07:002013-10-24T09:37:30.271-07:00Maybe we should just let them?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-E0mzWCoee1rg8tvCpQHALJsh5EZS1O5zc5oDtFfwLl5PrQpzr4atN8186rv5BKc9bOk5rN31se2IhMb0AheQoNZ0hXimTCoyOS-bBE0ChILmJqvX1KTvV-xs-igkXQQTB5e8ebt6Avl/s1600/fence+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-E0mzWCoee1rg8tvCpQHALJsh5EZS1O5zc5oDtFfwLl5PrQpzr4atN8186rv5BKc9bOk5rN31se2IhMb0AheQoNZ0hXimTCoyOS-bBE0ChILmJqvX1KTvV-xs-igkXQQTB5e8ebt6Avl/s320/fence+copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
Yesterday, I came across the comment above - Maybe we should just let them - from somebody I know and actually like quite a bit. Rather than being shocked, the way I used to be, I rolled out all the usual arguments: There are studies showing that people prevented from taking their lives, very often do not go on to find another venue or another means; only 6% of those prevented from jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge did go on to take their lives; it's an impulsive act and given time and a chance, people will more often than not change their minds; everybody who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge and survived and talked about it said that the instant they let go they decided they wanted to live; and it's not the same as euthanasia, it's not an informed decision.<br />
But the short and, what I think perfect, answer didn't come to me until this morning:<br />
Would you still feel this way if the person trying to take their life was your child, your spouse or somebody else very close to you?Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-2386042393790858522013-10-13T10:15:00.000-07:002013-10-13T10:16:24.051-07:00More about suicide barriersNo need for me to write much, the article I am linking to says it all:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Suicide-barriers-back-in-spotlight-with-Calif-law-4891339.php?cmpid=twitterSuicide%20barriers%20back%20in%20the%20spotlight%20with%20California%20law">Suicide barriers back in the spotlight</a>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-30055057979648389872013-10-09T09:22:00.000-07:002013-10-09T09:22:29.002-07:00Golden Gate Bridge SuicidesThere were 10 suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge in August of this year. John Bateson, author of "The Final Leap" wrote a letter to the editor of the San Francisco Chronicle about it ........... and the Chronicle decided not to publish his letter.<br />
But the L.A. Times <a href="http://www.latimes.com/opinion/commentary/la-oe-bateson-golden-gate-bridge-suicides-20130929,0,2813212.story">L.A. Times</a> did and so did the <a href="http://www.contracostatimes.com/opinion/ci_24225994/john-bateson-golden-gate-bridge-is-worlds-foremost">Contra Costa Times</a>.<br />
He addresses all the points in his letter, the increasing number of deaths from the bridge, the strange allure the bridge has for suicide attempters, and the fact that the Bridge Authority, the source of information on all things relating to the bridge does not even acknowledge these deaths. They did decide just recently to build a barrier in the middle of the bridge to avoid head-on collisions to the tune of $25 million.<br />
All the above and more is in John Bateson's letters and he says it so much better than I can.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-10800428426098512032013-02-24T18:07:00.000-08:002013-02-24T18:07:28.625-08:00I lost a good friend this weekendA friend of mine died Friday night, it wasn't unexpected.<br />
Marilee and I met 17 or so years ago on the AOL bead boards. Her username was "Patterner" - she was able to look at a piece of beadwork and could easily recreate it.<br />
And she was knowledgeable about pretty much anything else as well. She was also disabled due to an unfortunate accident and a very rare reaction to a rather common pain killer.<br />
We were more casual acquaintances than anything else for many years. The AOL community disappeared - AOL's doing - and we all moved on to a Delphi group. Other people from other forums joined, the group grew tremendously and I didn't participate much after an arm injury.<br />
And then Henry died and another online friend put an announcement on that board. Marilee was one of a small group to send condolence cards and a special gift - beaded earrings. And she got in touch by email (she lived on the other side of the country so we never met in person) and was just there when I so badly needed somebody to talk to. She told me her story, her life hadn't been easy, but it's not my story to tell. In time, I didn't need hand holding so much but we kept in touch.<br />
She was the first person (and one of a very small group) to read my blog and pretty much the only one who commented. I read her blog regularly and left comments and we emailed regularly.<br />
Over the last couple of years it became obvious that her health was deteriorating and her blog posts dwindled. We were still in touch, but not as much as before. Our last emails were exchanged earlier this month.<br />
When she didn't post anything new I started checking the comments on her last post and found out that she had been hospitalized and that she passed away.<br />
There is a board where quite a few of her friends wrote tributes to her and I read those with great sadness. I knew she was a generous person and a kind one, but I had no idea how many people she helped in ways similar to me.<br />
My life is fuller for having known her, but empty now that she is gone.<br />
Marilee, you are greatly missed.<br />
<br />Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-24561930852351384092012-09-08T08:07:00.001-07:002012-09-08T08:07:13.390-07:00World Suicide Prevention DayIt's not until Monday, but the newspaper editor chose to publish my annual letter today. Maybe more people will read it on a Saturday than a Monday. Who knows.<br />
This time around, I tried to focus on teenagers.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://napavalleyregister.com/news/opinion/mailbag/suicide-prevention-a-responsibility-of-all-of-us/article_791dc836-f965-11e1-8cdd-0019bb2963f4.html">http://napavalleyregister.com/news/opinion/mailbag/suicide-prevention-a-responsibility-of-all-of-us/article_791dc836-f965-11e1-8cdd-0019bb2963f4.html</a><br />
<br />
Oh, and I didn't choose the title, they did. Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-63554417039337055292012-08-29T09:04:00.000-07:002012-08-29T09:04:02.404-07:00Teenagers' use of pot may lower IQI saw a report about this on the news yesterday morning and promptly forgot about it (either a senior moment or too much else on my mind). Anyway, I finally remembered and here is the link:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_21413303/teens-use-pot-may-lead-lower-iqs?source=most_emailed">http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_21413303/teens-use-pot-may-lead-lower-iqs?source=most_emailed</a><br />
<br />Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-72253899875901090862012-08-09T15:42:00.000-07:002012-08-09T15:42:57.507-07:00My video has audio againTwo years ago, I felt the need to make videos in Henry's memory. I'll be the first to admit that they are pretty amateurish, but I wasn't after art. I was interested in healing and those videos (actually, slideshows would be the correct term here) did their job.<br />
I originally uploaded them to Facebook and they were up for a few weeks before Facebook noticed that I had used copyrighted music. A big No-No. They were taken down and I was sent sternly worded emails. Oooookay ..................<br />
So, I uploaded them to youTube (where they have been ever since). YouTube, too, noticed that I had used copyrighted music, but they figured out a way to monetize that (there's a link on where to buy the album), except for one of the songs. "Ripple" by the Grateful Dead was removed and so, Henry's Last Journey, turned into a silent movie.<br />
Big surprise today when I went to watch it (I do that on occasion) and there was audio again. I wonder if it'll stay or not.<br />
Blogger won't let me put a direct link to it for some odd reason, but here's the link:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17IPgr8WscY&feature=relmfu">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17IPgr8WscY&feature=relmfu</a>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-22224068957211937812012-07-25T08:19:00.001-07:002012-07-25T08:19:39.052-07:00Suicides at the Hoover Dam Bypass BridgeThere's been a rash of suicides (4 since April) from the Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.8newsnow.com/story/19104102/deaths-at-hoover-dam-bypass-bridge-raise-concern">http://www.8newsnow.com/story/19104102/deaths-at-hoover-dam-bypass-bridge-raise-concern</a><br />
<br />
I especially "like" the last paragraph of the article:<br />
<br />
"Transportation department officials decided there was no effective deterrent to stop people from jumping from the bridge."<br />
Really?Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-59531437192260793862012-07-07T09:23:00.001-07:002012-07-07T09:24:59.963-07:00Another step closerA few years ago, members of the Bridge Rail Foundation (I was part of that group) visited local lawmakers to explain about the need for a suicide barrier and the need for funds. I believe it was Lynn Woolsey who sponsored adding language, although the article mentioned Barbara Boxer, to an upcoming highway transportation bill about funding for barriers. That bill was stalled in Washington for ages but finally passed. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.marinij.com/sausalito/ci_21023815/transportation-bill-makes-golden-gate-bridge-suicide-barrier">http://www.marinij.com/sausalito/ci_21023815/transportation-bill-makes-golden-gate-bridge-suicide-barrier</a><br />
<br />
Here's the relevant paragraph:<br />
<br />
"<span id="rds_global">The new transportation bill contains crucial
wording allowing funding for suicide prevention including safety rails
and nets on bridges, said officials for the Sausalito-based Bridge Rail
Foundation. The language in the bill also clarifies that institutions
such as the Golden Gate Bridge District — a special purpose district —
are eligible for these funds."</span><br />
<br />
<span id="rds_global">Of course, the battle to procure those funds isn't over, but it's another step along the loooooong path.</span>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-20734916645030653782012-05-21T12:13:00.000-07:002012-05-21T12:13:06.223-07:00The Final Leap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
The post title is actually the title of a book by John Bateson ( <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Final-Leap-Suicide-Golden/dp/0520272404/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top">http://www.amazon.com/The-Final-Leap-Suicide-Golden/dp/0520272404/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top</a>).<br />
L called me a little while ago to tell me that the author was on a local radio talk show and I managed to catch the second half of the show. There wasn't anything new being discussed, I've read enough about the subject to know the numbers and the issues, it's just good to know that somebody actually wrote a book about it.<br />
I'm not going into what I heard on the show, not even the one not so smart comment by a caller.<br />
What I do want to mention is what was being said at the very end: The Golden Gate Bridge Authority is in charge of everything that happens on and to the bridge and they are making absolutely no effort to secure funds for the approved barrier. They are putting plenty of effort into raising money for bike barriers and a center divider to prevent car crashes and for a new tourist center. The ones trying to raise money and/or securing funds are the people of the Bridge Rail Foundation (us). The author also mentioned that if there was more pressure from the public, things might be a bit different. But we all know how far too many San Franciscans feel about this issue.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-52568247589089996792012-05-16T10:30:00.002-07:002012-05-16T10:30:14.090-07:00ScholarshipsIt's that time of year again, time when high school seniors graduate.
As we've done in previous years, we are handing out scholarships at the
public high schools in town. The first presentation was last week
Wednesday and, as usual, L made me do the speech while he stood in the
background. But then he had a work emergency and I had to do Thursday's
presentation by myself - for the first time ever. I was more than a
little nervous and I have no idea how things went - I always rely on him
for for feedback. It's always positive and I think it has a lot to do
with the fact that he simply doesn't want to stand behind that
microphone; he does enough presentation and speeches at work. Anyway,
the whole thing was over so fast, it was a total blur and I think it
went okay.<br />
The recipients were, as always, chosen by the
counselors at the schools, I just provide a list of criteria and, if
there are questions, I'm happy to provide additional input. So, when I
receive a thank you from a mother for choosing their child, I feel a
little like a fake. I didn't do the choosing. <br />
Yesterday, we
received 2 thank you cards and today, there was a small package in the
mailbox. Another thank you card along with a small gift and another
thank you in DVD format. I am so touched that somebody would go to all
this trouble.<br />
I have to say, this is the best "job" I've ever had.
Hate the reason for doing this, but it sure feels good to, hopefully,
help somebody else.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-47066662180800809892012-05-08T16:44:00.001-07:002012-05-08T16:45:05.533-07:00The Fifth Annual Bridge Visit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As I wrote in the previous post, it's that day again. It was surprisingly cool on the bridge, windy and quite foggy. Parking was a problem, too, but we made it eventually, tied our flowers to the rail and a big cable and took the obligatory pictures and left. No reason really to hang around, is there?<br />
We then drove across the bridge into San Francisco to take our nice in-laws to lunch and checked to see if the flowers were still there - they were. On the way back, though, about 2 hours later, they were gone. It's not that we didn't expect it, though. We knew that would happen.<br />
The ones I tied to the mailbox are still there, though, those forget-me-nots I grow just for Henry. <br />
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<br />Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-2206146618711515432012-05-08T08:10:00.000-07:002012-05-08T08:10:57.844-07:00Five yearsIt's that day again, the anniversary of that horrible day when Henry died. And, just as we've done every year since then, we will be going to the bridge - with flowers and pictures this time around. L's sister and her husband will meet us again, we'll tie flowers to the rail, take a picture or two and, in my case, marvel again at how Henry could have had enough courage to do what he did (because, believe me, when you stand at that rail and look down, it's a long, long way down and I, for one, think it takes courage to make that move.). And wonder yet again why he did what he did.<br />
I had a message from a friend on Facebook that made me cry already today and I'm not much of a crier. Nice words about the things I've done over the years, the education, the attempts to make people aware and it feels that maybe it was the right thing to do.<br />
I've been struggling the last few weeks trying to decide how to find the right balance between honoring Henry's memory and not overdoing it. What's right? What's too much? I still don't know. This year, there are no slide shows, no lengthy posts (except for this one). Doesn't mean I don't still miss him, that I don't still wonder and that I don't still have many, many questions.<br />
Miss you so much, Henry. ♥Mum♥Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-84192114349155709002012-04-15T08:06:00.001-07:002012-04-15T08:07:31.633-07:00First suicide from Hoover Dam bridgeIt's bound to happen. Those barriers really do make a difference.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-hoover-bridge-suicide-20120410,0,3917188.story">http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-hoover-bridge-suicide-20120410,0,3917188.story</a></blockquote></div>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-51445921349411117202012-04-12T08:40:00.002-07:002012-04-12T08:42:32.236-07:00Means matterAn article from the Harvard School of Public Health talks about suicide, how means make a huge difference (e.g. availability of a firearm in a household, lack of barriers etc.).<br />Haven't we said that all along?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/">http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/</a>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-44689242168380303302012-03-08T13:04:00.001-08:002012-03-08T13:05:40.633-08:0037 in 2011I posted earlier what I thought was a report about deaths in 2011 which turned out to be the one for 2010.<br />So, here is the new one, the numbers are higher than the year before:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-news/ci_20130054/increase-suicides-from-golden-gate-bridge">http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-news/ci_20130054/increase-suicides-from-golden-gate-bridge</a>Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-49139977750799494622012-03-06T08:23:00.002-08:002012-03-06T08:25:45.862-08:00A suicide barrier for the Cold Spring BridgeJust saw a link to this on Facebook, it's nice to see that there are people with compassion and common sense:<br /><a href="http://http://www.noozhawk.com/article/030112_cold_spring_bridge_suicide_barrier_complete/"><br />http://www.noozhawk.com/article/030112_cold_spring_bridge_suicide_barrier_complete/</a><br /><br />Let's just hope it'll happen here soon, too, because it's definitely time.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-73441143106485783232012-02-02T09:42:00.001-08:002012-02-02T09:56:55.465-08:00Photoshopping and soldering<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtiVdTMsB_puDIqFefa2ERoZlilxU1LqU9ymFCk8LsF5ExeEBjSeH45gj42icN-HkZUmOkK9aQ9e10Pfm-tfZQ_3YhpdPK0Ydc9JKfRwhOUvLUr3dte58aIMom9b_BgDv0LnW-88lWS4Xt/s1600/bezels2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtiVdTMsB_puDIqFefa2ERoZlilxU1LqU9ymFCk8LsF5ExeEBjSeH45gj42icN-HkZUmOkK9aQ9e10Pfm-tfZQ_3YhpdPK0Ydc9JKfRwhOUvLUr3dte58aIMom9b_BgDv0LnW-88lWS4Xt/s320/bezels2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704597384239719906" border="0" /></a>I've talked a couple of times about the online class I am taking and I've shown a picture of what I had made so far.<br />Well, I've actually moved right along (at a snail's pace) and finally figured out how to solder bezels last week. And than I got stuck again. I knew I wanted at least one bezel to have a picture of Henry and I was dragging my feet hard, that just wasn't something I wanted to work on.<br />But, this morning I buckled down and opened PSE and played. It took me a while but I finally found how to add special effects to photos (and I'll be lucky if I'll ever find that again, I'm not a whiz when it comes to computers and/or software) and I played with a few photos. I'm quite pleased with the results and will, hopefully, use one of them in a bezel.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5sGli02lpPcwaqJKAZ6Vq7hDqQfKFtgzCw1hzR6w8F23V1GBu-CZToOddFZbcquiEiWPwcPDtf-adXawyObpJ6qNQBTAHAqW6wVeqrOCwMHYigtw923fMGRLLSnSAkQ176g3Scs9g77Fc/s1600/henry5-vintage.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5sGli02lpPcwaqJKAZ6Vq7hDqQfKFtgzCw1hzR6w8F23V1GBu-CZToOddFZbcquiEiWPwcPDtf-adXawyObpJ6qNQBTAHAqW6wVeqrOCwMHYigtw923fMGRLLSnSAkQ176g3Scs9g77Fc/s320/henry5-vintage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704597031383298962" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1O5eGrwSMDofXI230ZHXc6ugKUoSXcy8HqS-ms6vDzCliIBPNKH_j8Jljy71AqYFPqcK0_RNTWwLKkVAAeZbTRQxQ5mhEPe0HwNvwQhmTDm_-KZBMV0H-b4VEYMxXhISVRNC_kRmTR0S/s1600/crown-sepia.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 178px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1O5eGrwSMDofXI230ZHXc6ugKUoSXcy8HqS-ms6vDzCliIBPNKH_j8Jljy71AqYFPqcK0_RNTWwLKkVAAeZbTRQxQ5mhEPe0HwNvwQhmTDm_-KZBMV0H-b4VEYMxXhISVRNC_kRmTR0S/s320/crown-sepia.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704597031937874066" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Rg7ASQmFFOSZ8GH2VUNbaro2-ntaXOFzVBXpK5X0qLlKrf7M2NcX3OvIeC0_bAkbja9ILYGJ42OV-pvlsWs5iapWwVzCE0TXmFBlHbBOBWg04Te2C-QT_PgajjenMAUBlwRqyZ3qtork/s1600/crown-light.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 173px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Rg7ASQmFFOSZ8GH2VUNbaro2-ntaXOFzVBXpK5X0qLlKrf7M2NcX3OvIeC0_bAkbja9ILYGJ42OV-pvlsWs5iapWwVzCE0TXmFBlHbBOBWg04Te2C-QT_PgajjenMAUBlwRqyZ3qtork/s320/crown-light.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704597025604904130" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HdjzkIFUa_A_GxDbZyylfntSZY3bMij_MnHa2_af9HOLr6vv2m-TL7iTVUIdxQuG8MqSkbRo4A9EV8EdSRtVGDYeccCsDgHIevodQ7tBFky02ouJIjVIAKnPQzAiFhxUdFTz-7NOE13K/s1600/henry5-vintage.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm leaning towards the last one - with the light effect - rather than the vintage effect photos.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4829575551852380261.post-41587665610224191202012-01-27T10:36:00.000-08:002012-01-27T10:49:56.353-08:00Fiction and suicide barriersI like reading (murder) mysteries, not the gory, violent, scary ones, but the somewhat more subdued ones. Although, just about anything dealing with murder is kind of violent.<br />Anyway, I'm reading V is for Vengeance by Sue Grafton and one of the victims is found dead under the Cold Spring Bridge near Santa Barbara. It's meant to look like a suicide because quite a few people have jumped from that bridge to their deaths, but it is actually a murder.<br />I'm familiar with that particular bridge. There's a group wanting a barrier on that bridge and they have been in touch with our group, the Bridge Rail Foundation.<br />What I found especially interesting is a paragraph on page 216 of this novel (it's supposed to be a newspaper article):<span style="font-style: italic;"> "Vance is the eighteenth Santa Teresa County resident to plunge to her death. Caltrans representative Wilson Carter called the loss of lives resulting from individuals jumping from the 400-foot-high bridge a "regrettable and entirely preventable tragedy." Statistical studies show that barriers erected on comparable structures contribute significantly to the reduction of suicide attempts. Carter further stated, "The long-term emotional and financial toll as a direct result of suicide offers a compelling argument for the construction of such a barrier, which has long been under discussion by state and county officials."</span><br />I've done some googling and can't find a Wilson Carter or this particular quote, but it's not that different from quotes about other structures needing a suicide barrier.<br />Oh, and the novel is set in 1988, so this particular discussion has been going on for a while there, too.Dorishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04126547937488281294noreply@blogger.com0