Hey Henry

Tomorrow would have been Henry's 25th birthday. The age experts say is when the brain is finally fully developed and people can (hopefully) foresee the consequences of their actions.
I wish he could have hung on, toughed it out, seen his way through what he obviously considered insurmountable problems. Looking back - and having spent close to 3 years trying to get answers to "why" - I can see why he felt overwhelmed but I also know that there were ways around it. If he had only talked to somebody, asked for help. And I don't mean his peers, 18 year olds really aren't in a position to help in this kind of situation.
I still don't have all the answers and I doubt they'll find me. I got close over a year ago when one of the people Henry spent time with contacted me, but he pulled back - several times - and so, no go. I'm okay with it. I don't even know whether I still want to talk about it in depth.
I have my memories, I have a good idea what happened and why. What I don't have is my son.
And I miss him, lots.