17.5.11

A little lost

The last week has been stressful, I'm still trying to figure out exactly why that is.
We handed out the first set of scholarships last Wednesday and I enjoyed it quite a bit. I'm getting used to giving a short speech and having my picture taken.
Unfortunately, the next morning I woke up with something pulled in my neck. That has happened before and I've always toughed it out. So I thought, I'd just do that again. It was worse on Friday so I went off to see my new doctor. He asked all the right questions and one very wrong one (did I get drunk the night before this happened? No, of course not. I don't drink alcohol.). Still trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Anyway, he prescribed an ointment and muscle relaxants. The pills made me so loopy and tired that I'm missing the whole weekend and didn't help a bit with the stiffness and pain. Neither did the ointment. Back to toughing it out.
Yesterday was the awards ceremony at the high school we added this year. Unlike the other schools, there is no set program. You need to stand in line at 3 pm to pick up a number. I got there before 3 and still was only No. 28. Back to school before 6 pm to be seated on the stage for a good hour before it was our turn. Speech went well, the kids picked seem great, but I was worn out. Oh, it is raining again which didn't help with things.
I was just getting ready to go to bed when Larry called me over to show me an article he had found online: http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Bridge-Suicide-on-the-Golden-Gate-Bridge. I made the mistake of reading it all and was pretty disturbed. There's no way to tell who the writer is and while all the stuff included in the article is out there somewhere, I simply couldn't figure out where he got all the "intimate" details about Henry. Not until this morning did I realize it's all straight from the article Tia O'Brien wrote for which she interviewed us a few years ago. While I like that this issue is being brought to the foreground yet again (there's still no money coming in for a barrier), I had managed to successfully push the whole article far back into my mind and really liked having it there. It feels a bit as if my privacy has been invaded. Yes, we talked to Tia willingly and appreciated what she did, but having Henry and our lives dissected like that was really difficult and being reminded of it all was no less easy.
I am so torn on so many levels. On the one hand I want my quiet little life back, nevermind that it's a tad boring; on the other hand I want to do what I can to help not only with the suicide barrier but also making people aware of suicide. It's not easy and I have a feeling it'll be something I'll struggle with for quite a long time to come.

1 comment:

mjlayman said...

This one at least said that Golden Gate needs a barrier.