I wish he could have hung on, toughed it out, seen his way through what he obviously considered insurmountable problems. Looking back - and having spent close to 3 years trying to get answers to "why" - I can see why he felt overwhelmed but I also know that there were ways around it. If he had only talked to somebody, asked for help. And I don't mean his peers, 18 year olds really aren't in a position to help in this kind of situation.
I still don't have all the answers and I doubt they'll find me. I got close over a year ago when one of the people Henry spent time with contacted me, but he pulled back - several times - and so, no go. I'm okay with it. I don't even know whether I still want to talk about it in depth.
I have my memories, I have a good idea what happened and why. What I don't have is my son.
And I miss him, lots.