Nine months today

This has been on my mind all week and I've decided to get it down on paper/into computer file before I forget even more details. Obviously, this is a short version of what happened. I do know how to edit .............

It’s been 9 months since Henry left us and I remember that day much too well (mostly, that is, there are a few bits missing.).
I remember it being a beautiful day (just like today, except without the morning fog and, of course, quite a bit warmer) - sunny, warm but not hot. I remember talking to Henry before he left for school - it was a normal morning, no different from any other morning.
I remember the phone calls – first the school telling me he was missing, then the calls I had to make to track down somebody to get a hold of Larry (who was in Pascagoula, Miss. that day), trying to call Henry many times (I didn’t figure out until many months later that he hung up on me every time), talking to Larry whenever he was not on a plane and to Kate. Talking to the police. Two phone calls from San Francisco General.
I remember spending some time at the school, later driving around town looking for Henry.
I remember the drive down to the hospital with my friend and a police chaplain and arriving at the hospital, talking first to one doctor who explained Henry's injuries to us and then another who told us that they hadn’t been able to save him.
I remember saying goodbye to him twice. He looked so peaceful.
And then driving home, sending both my friend and the police chaplain away and cleaning house and Larry finally arriving home around 11 p.m.
It didn’t seem real then and there still are times when it doesn’t.

We are already making plans for the 1-year anniversary. We will definitely be on the bridge at 11:45 a.m. at lamp post 47 but we don't quite know what do just yet .......


Anonymous said...

I have May 8th marked in my appointment book. I was going to send you flowers or chocolates. I probably still will (although I need to get your address, which should be easier now that I'm telling you this), but that makes me think that you might want to decide if this will be a yearly memorial, and if it is, to decide on something similar to do each year. Maybe throwing flowers in the river. Maybe throwing a letter to Henry in. Maybe reciting a poem. Something that will help bind the memory and incrementally ease the grief.

Henry's Mom said...


Thank you! For understanding, for thinking of us and Henry. I don't know if you realize how much that means to me.
We will have to decide what to do but we still have some time.
We did visit the bridge in June and threw flowers off the bridge (which is strictly forbidden - so what?). We might just do that again. We have some other ideas - we'll see what we decide on.
What I would really like is to have people who knew Henry there with us. Obviously, since it's a work/school day that isn't going to be possible. So, I'm hoping they'll be with us in spirit.
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if it was designed as a project -- maybe how to deal with grief, maybe suicide education, drug education -- if the school(s) would let the students off. If not, maybe they can give you letters or similar small light things to join with yours or however you end up remembering.

Anonymous said...

I should have told you how I remember my mother. She was a very strict fundamentalist and believed she shouldn't have stimulants, but she loved coffee and chocolate. Every now and then, she'd slip and have some and then feel bad about it. So on her birthday, I have coffee and chocolate. (Not a lot of coffee, I hate it, but the smell and a few sips remind me of her.)

It was my mentioning this that made AAB decide on Helen's Chocolate Cake Day.